Be You.

Lately, I've been struggling with the idea that "being me" isn't the greatest. For some time now, I've been feeling that who I am and how I'm wired hasn't been so easily embraced by my some of my friends. We're very different to begin with, but I haven't been able to stop beating myself up with the thought that it's my characteristics that drive us apart. This occurrence with extremely significant relationships has made me very self conscience with all of my relationships. These last few weeks, I've had to step back and just pray about it. I've finally come to a place where I can no longer allow myself to believe that God did not wire me to be who I am. Who I am isn't for me anyways. It's for Him. It's to love and bless others. If I have that mind set, how can I really go wrong? It doesn't really matter how people respond to it. I created this little graphic with a photograph I took as a little reminder of this truth. Each new day that comes, I don't know how to be anyone but me. As should you, in humility, "be you."

Blessings,

-C.

Matters Of The Heart.

The heart is a weird thing. I mean, how is it that we experience actual pain from things that are said or not said? How do thoughts or non-violent actions from others actually cause your body to ache? Sure, you can tell me about how the mind works and all the chemicals involved and all that, but why is all that there to begin with? Aside from all of it shouting out, "There's a Designer!," I think it makes it clear that we as human beings, we are fragile. Some of us have grown up blocking that all out. Some of us have been taught that matters of the heart are for those who are weak. But I think that the experiences our hearts face are the experiences that shape who we are. Heartbreak gives us opportunity. Opportunity to learn. Opportunity to grow. Opportunity to forgive. Opportunity to hope. Opportunity to see God's hand. Strength is something to strive for, but sometimes, the best thing to do is to just curl up into a little ball, turn off all the up-beat music, and let your heart break. Maybe your life could use some opportunity.

Blessings,

-C.

Super Heroes Have Birthdays Too.

I think that it has been scientifically proven that everyone on this planet has a father at some point in life. After all, it takes two to tango, if you catch my drift. But not everyone gets a dad. For the 24 years I've been alive, I've had a man in my life who has loved me and has looked out for me. A man who played with me and bought me things. A man who taught me how to be strong and how to be kind. A man who never made me worry about wether he would leave or not. I've had a dad. It's incredible when you look at the tragic effects not having a father in a person's life can have on them. I recognize the amazing blessing and rare gift that it is to have a dad. I've had not just a dad, but one as loving and concerned about my life as my dad. I give a huge amount of credit to my dad for me being the man I am today. I give God thanks for it being His will for me to have the father I do. Every kid needs a Super Hero, and today, mine turns 48. Happy Birthday, Papa.

Blessings,

-C.

A Calling.

Meet my phones. My Ex, the iPhone 4, and my current, a Samsung "Pay-As-You-Go" phone from Walmart. As you may know, having an iPhone can be pretty expensive and it was finally time to make some big-boy decisions and say goodbye to some comforts. I had to pick up a more "humble" phone for communication. Let me tell you, I've gone through some discomfort since the change. I seriously miss having an iPhone. I miss all the apps that make life so easy. I'm dying without Instagram (just kidding... but not really). I miss how easy it was to text. How easy it was to check your e-mail. How easy it was to manage things. That's not the worst, though. I'm admitting to you that I often get embarrassed to pull this new phone out when someone asks to trade digits or even just to use it in public. This never felt right in my heart and it caused me to ponder what was really going on. I almost laugh out loud at my own arrogance and ignorance. It makes me so sad to realize what a spoiled brat I can be. Sure, it's a blessing to have an iPhone, but it's also a blessing to have a phone at all. Just as it is a blessing to eat at a $30-a-plate, 5-star restaurant, it's also a blessing to have beans and rice to eat. Why is it so hard to be thankful for what we have? Is it because we have so much? It's upsetting to realize that rather than rejoicing that I have a phone that works in my pocket, I'm feeling frustrated and ashamed because I don't have the phone I want. Oh, the heart. I am reminded of the Word of God:

"Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction . For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

- 1 Timothy 6:6-10

"Jesus said, 'Beware! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possesions.'"

- Luke 12:15

"Jesus said, 'Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.'"

- Matthew 6:20-21

I pray that we can choose to be thankful and recognize that all we have is a gift given to us through Love and Grace. God will never stop being good, so why should we ever stop giving thanks?

Blessings,

-C.

Worry.

This is a photograph I took in 2010 while on a mission trip in Mexico. This was a garbage dump where people would wait for the arrival of garbage trucks to rummage through them to find things to sell, things for themselves, or things to eat. 

It’s a funny thing how you can worry about the smallest things to the point where they blind you of the bigger things around you. Big things like the air you breathe. The beats of your heart. The vision of your eyes. The steps your feet take. Being able to get up from where you sit, walk over to the refrigerator, and grab something to eat. Being able to sleep warm and safe in your bed at night. We even become blind to the blessings that come from things such as going to your local Starbucks to get coffee. We get so wrapped up with worrying about money, relationships, our appearances, school, careers, and what others think of us. All these things distract us from thanking God for the air we breathe or for our beating hearts or the vision we have or our ability to walk. All these things distract us from realizing that we are so rich. So ridiculously rich. We have Jesus. We’re so busy being focused on small things in our lives that we don’t see the ones who are really in need around us. God gives us so much power in being able to show Jesus to people. We’re too worried about money to bless someone in need. We’re too worried about that one or two relationships that we miss all those who are crying out for love. We’re too worried about the things that fade away that we forget to ask God what He wants from us. We forget who we really are. We forget whom we’re meant to live for. We forget that each minute that goes by, our lives on earth are coming closer to their ends along with those who don’t have Christ. As Christ followers, do we not realize the severity of the consequences of that? Do we care enough to do something about it? Or do we continue drowning in our worries? What does our worrying about such things say about our God? Doesn’t make Him look very good or powerful, does it? My prayer for us is that we would let the Lord take worry from our lives. It is that we would choose Christ. It is that we would choose thankfulness. It is that we would find rejoicing and satisfaction in our Lord. It is when we choose Him each day that we can be aware of how rich we really are, of how we have nothing to worry about, and of how much power there is in us, through Him, to show the world the beauty & love of Christ. He calls us to love and to give. Let’s stop worrying about the little things and start thanking God for the big things. If it wasn’t for Him, you might not even have been able to read this.

Blessings,
-C.

Beautiful Eulogy.

Last night, I went to a Label Show by Humble Beast Records which featured Christian rap artists, Eshon Burgundy, Beautiful Eulogy, and Propaganda. I was seriously blown away by the talent of these guys. I've been listening to Beautiful Eulogy's album, Satellite Kite, and have been so blessed by the depth of their messages. I love them. (Do yourself a favor and watch this video: Entitlement.) Their passion on stage was moving. These guys LOVE Jesus. After the show, I was blessed with the opportunity of talking to Thomas (the one without a hat in the picture) and walked away super encouraged. Super kind and humble guy. With such a real and DEEP theology, I was surprised to learn that he hasn't been to any kind of Bible school. I later discussed this with my friends whom I went with, Jake Likewise and Bekah Harcrow, and came to the realization that God goes beyond all that kind of thing and Thomas' life has Jesus' name written all over it. Thomas is exactly where God intended him to be. God has wired each one of us with intention. Our abilities, our gifts, our passions. God is bigger than school. It doesn't matter if you've learned something at school or not. When the Holy Spirit wants to move, He will move. Why do we hesitate?! I don't know about you, but that encourages me so much. It fills me with passion. It makes me want to run harder. God is bigger than our doubts and so are His plans for us. I highly encourage you to listen to their music. I'm attaching a couple of my favorite songs of theirs on here. You can also download their entire album for free at Humblebeast.com

Listen on SoundCloud:

Anchor (feat. Josh Garrels) - Beautiful Eulogy

Beautiful Eulogy - Beautiful Eulogy

Blessings,

-C.

A Brand New Blog.

So here it is. A brand new blog.

I am so excited to see what comes out of this. As some of you readers may know, I am a lover of creativity and expression. I dabble in a few forms of them and I would love to share them with those who would want to take a peek. I'm also hoping to throw in some word expressions of what may be running around in my mind. The name of the blog is GoldenDirt. The name GoldenDirt is something that I made up as I contemplated how outside of Christ, I am worthless. I am dirt. But because of Christ, I am made valuable, I am made like gold. It is only in Jesus that I am worth anything. The name is a reminder to continue humble and thankful. In that same way, what I have to share might be dirt at the end of the day, but in my hopes of reflecting Christ through my life, I pray you might find some gold somewhere amongst it all.

Blessings,

-C.